Three months and six days have passed and I am officially done with chemotherapy, hopefully for the rest of my life! My last treatment went by quickly, thanks to my three and a half hour nap. I was awoken by the nurses as they presented me with a cake and a congratulations song to commemorate my final treatment. I feel bad that I was so out of it that I didn't really express my gratitude to all of them. They took excellent care of me and managed to keep my dad entertained as well everytime we were there. I did thank them, walked out with a promise to visit Nancy at the front desk (Dr. K's office is right next door and I'll be needing to see him every so often for probably the rest of my life) and silently said to myself, "I hope I never see any of you ever again!"
I remember back to my first chemo session when the woman across from me received her cake and send-off song as well. I thought to myself how that will be me one day, but that day seemed so far off. 16 weeks later, I got to be that lucky girl.
I'm anticpating the achiness and numbness to set it around Monday or Tuesday. I'll be taking it easy this week, and will then be looking forward to a few consecutive weeks of feeling healthy and normal. I have an appointment coming up with my surgeon so we should be able to finalize surgery type and date.
For now, I'm just thrilled that the first part of beating cancer is over. Chemotherapy has certainly not been easy, but I know that it could have been worse too. Surgery will be no fiesta either, but it has to be better than chemo. The final treatment step is radiation, which will hopefully be a piece of cake after chemo and surgery. I'm anticipating all treatment to be over and done with sometime in October. Maybe I'll have some hair on my head by then too!
Thank you for reading about my experiences and encouraging me along the way. I'll continue to update with some of my fun summer activities I plan to get to, as well as surgery information when it's decided and arranged. Today's holiday of celebrating freedom and independence has such special meaning for me today. Enjoy!
July 4, 2009
June 20, 2009
Time Flies When You're Having Fun...I Mean Chemo
When I was first diagnosed on February 18, 2009, I was completely devastated. The road to recovery seemed endless and I had no idea where it was leading me. I felt better once getting a treatment plan nailed down, but it still seemed so daunting, scary, and unpredictable.
But now, I can't believe I have one more chemo treatment left. When I talk to people about it, many have commented, "It may not seem like it to you, but that time seemed to go so fast." I always reply that it felt the same for me too. I think the fact that I was still working as much as possible helped to pass the two weeks of time between chemo treatments quickly. I was still maintaining a relatively constant schedule, and being at work made me forget about cancer for those few hours a day. I felt useful, responsible, and worthy. My students needed me to be their teacher, and I needed them to make me feel like a teacher that happenend to have cancer while doing her job. I hated the days I looked and felt like a cancer patient, and nothing else.
Treatment #7 was uneventful, just how I like it. I slept a good three hours thanks to the Benadryl, and had my blood pressure taken about ten times, even during my sleep. I think it's lowest was 80 something over 50 something, which was while I was napping. Leave it to me to be totally relaxed during chemo.
I'm actually looking forward to my last treatment in two weeks. It will mark the end of this first and hopefully most difficult phase of treating my cancer. Dr. K. said we'll wait about a month to do surgery, which leaves me with July to "forget" that I have cancer and just enjoy the summer. I already made a list of fun things I want to do, including visiting a friend's house in CT, going to the Bronx Zoo, seeing a Broadway play, spending time with my little nephew, going to Atlantic City, going to the beach, taking a bellydance class in NYC, and doing some more exercising (although I'll wait until surgery is over to unfreeze my gym membership). I also have some get-togethers and a wedding to attend, so I'll be keeping myself happily busy during that month!
I'll deal with surgery and radiation when the time comes, and then create a new list of fun things to do once cancer treatment is completely over and done with, which will hopefully be sometime in September. Suggestions welcome :)
But now, I can't believe I have one more chemo treatment left. When I talk to people about it, many have commented, "It may not seem like it to you, but that time seemed to go so fast." I always reply that it felt the same for me too. I think the fact that I was still working as much as possible helped to pass the two weeks of time between chemo treatments quickly. I was still maintaining a relatively constant schedule, and being at work made me forget about cancer for those few hours a day. I felt useful, responsible, and worthy. My students needed me to be their teacher, and I needed them to make me feel like a teacher that happenend to have cancer while doing her job. I hated the days I looked and felt like a cancer patient, and nothing else.
Treatment #7 was uneventful, just how I like it. I slept a good three hours thanks to the Benadryl, and had my blood pressure taken about ten times, even during my sleep. I think it's lowest was 80 something over 50 something, which was while I was napping. Leave it to me to be totally relaxed during chemo.
I'm actually looking forward to my last treatment in two weeks. It will mark the end of this first and hopefully most difficult phase of treating my cancer. Dr. K. said we'll wait about a month to do surgery, which leaves me with July to "forget" that I have cancer and just enjoy the summer. I already made a list of fun things I want to do, including visiting a friend's house in CT, going to the Bronx Zoo, seeing a Broadway play, spending time with my little nephew, going to Atlantic City, going to the beach, taking a bellydance class in NYC, and doing some more exercising (although I'll wait until surgery is over to unfreeze my gym membership). I also have some get-togethers and a wedding to attend, so I'll be keeping myself happily busy during that month!
I'll deal with surgery and radiation when the time comes, and then create a new list of fun things to do once cancer treatment is completely over and done with, which will hopefully be sometime in September. Suggestions welcome :)
June 12, 2009
The Wicked Witch is Melting!
I nicknamed the tumor "the wicked witch" because that's exactly what it is: an evil, unwelcomed guest that's invading my body and causing all sorts of trouble. Unfortunately, it takes more than water to melt this witch!
This past Monday I had an MRI done to see the progress of my treatment and get a sense of how the tumor is responding to chemo. I had an MRI prior to starting chemo, so I was familiar with the routine. It's a face-down procedure where you lay on the table and place your breasts in two holes. The table then slides backwards into the MRI tube and you lay there for about 20 minutes while the imaging takes place. Headphones are worn to protect the ears from the loud noises the machine makes, and I got to listen to the sweet voice of Josh Groban.
I spoke with a nurse practitioner from my surgeon's office today about the results. Prior to chemo, the MRI detected four enlarged auxilliary lymph nodes under the arm, all of which have now decreased in size. The wicked witch herself has also decreased in size, and there is "no other significant enhancement." All good news!
Call me Dorothy if you want, but I'm on the yellow brick road to recovery!
This past Monday I had an MRI done to see the progress of my treatment and get a sense of how the tumor is responding to chemo. I had an MRI prior to starting chemo, so I was familiar with the routine. It's a face-down procedure where you lay on the table and place your breasts in two holes. The table then slides backwards into the MRI tube and you lay there for about 20 minutes while the imaging takes place. Headphones are worn to protect the ears from the loud noises the machine makes, and I got to listen to the sweet voice of Josh Groban.
I spoke with a nurse practitioner from my surgeon's office today about the results. Prior to chemo, the MRI detected four enlarged auxilliary lymph nodes under the arm, all of which have now decreased in size. The wicked witch herself has also decreased in size, and there is "no other significant enhancement." All good news!
Call me Dorothy if you want, but I'm on the yellow brick road to recovery!
June 6, 2009
The Bite of the Vampire
I wasn't really bitten by a vampire, although yesterday's experience made me think I have a slight idea what it would be like if I were to be bitten by one. If Edward Cullen from Twilight or Bill Compton from True Blood happen to be reading this, I'm ready for you.
Chemo began with the usual pre-meds to prevent a reaction, but this time it was the pre-meds tha caused a problem. As my sweet, southern nurse from Louisiana was injecting the steroid, I all of a sudden became short of breath and was coughing and wheezing. While that was going on, an awful burning sensation went through my body, but since I couldn't breathe it was hard to voice the pain I felt. She immediately stopped what she was doing and the burn went away within a couple minutes. She then administered the rest of the drug nice and slowly. The other drugs that needed to be dripped in were down very slowly as well, so no further mishaps to report. I was at the Infusion Center from 8 - 2:30, but it was worth it to have a smooth treatment.
Having just seen Twilight again recently, I imagined that the burn I was feeling was the same kind of burn that humans feel when they are bitten by a vampire and undergoing the metamorphosis from human to vampire. I wasn't thinking about that while I was feeling the burn of course, but perhaps if I did I could have imagined sexy vampire Edward Cullen being the one responsible for the bite that caused the burn, which would have put a whole different spin on chemo! With two treatments left to go, I'll be sure to keep this thought in the back of my mind just in case a similar mishap takes place. As if I need a reason to think about Edward Cullen!
Chemo began with the usual pre-meds to prevent a reaction, but this time it was the pre-meds tha caused a problem. As my sweet, southern nurse from Louisiana was injecting the steroid, I all of a sudden became short of breath and was coughing and wheezing. While that was going on, an awful burning sensation went through my body, but since I couldn't breathe it was hard to voice the pain I felt. She immediately stopped what she was doing and the burn went away within a couple minutes. She then administered the rest of the drug nice and slowly. The other drugs that needed to be dripped in were down very slowly as well, so no further mishaps to report. I was at the Infusion Center from 8 - 2:30, but it was worth it to have a smooth treatment.
Having just seen Twilight again recently, I imagined that the burn I was feeling was the same kind of burn that humans feel when they are bitten by a vampire and undergoing the metamorphosis from human to vampire. I wasn't thinking about that while I was feeling the burn of course, but perhaps if I did I could have imagined sexy vampire Edward Cullen being the one responsible for the bite that caused the burn, which would have put a whole different spin on chemo! With two treatments left to go, I'll be sure to keep this thought in the back of my mind just in case a similar mishap takes place. As if I need a reason to think about Edward Cullen!
May 30, 2009
Over the Hill Part 2
Again, I'm not referring to my age. This time rather, I'm referring to the age my body has felt this week. As I expected, the side effects of the new drug took a few days to kick in and by Tuesday I was feeling like a grandma, mainly because of the body aches. Dr. K. had told me exactly what to expect, so I was not surprised. He's right all the time! Although I ignored doctor's orders and didn't take any of the anti-nausea pills this week. Luckily, I haven't been nauseous yet and with this new drug, the chance of nausea is much more mild so he suggested I take them as precautionary. Since those pills make me loop-di-loopy, I decided not to take them and thankfully did not need to. I'll confess to Dr. K. Thursday!
Despite the aches and pains, this week was easier to deal with than previous weeks-after-chemo, when I was on the first two chemo drugs. I've had aches and pains plenty of times before in my life thanks to the flu or muscle soreness, so it wasn't terribly unbearble and it was nothing like the fatigue felt with my first four treatments. Fatigue is a total body, energy zapping, right down to the core of your bones lethargy that killed my mood and spirits at times. Body and bone aches aren't exactly pleasant, but I was still able to work nearly every day this past week and have some energy. But I certainly took it easy.
It's been a week since treatment #5 and I feel back to normal. My scarf collection continues to grow thanks to my wonderful friends and family, who all know exactly what colors and prints look great on me. Time to go pick one out and see some of those wonderful friends at a bridal shower!
Despite the aches and pains, this week was easier to deal with than previous weeks-after-chemo, when I was on the first two chemo drugs. I've had aches and pains plenty of times before in my life thanks to the flu or muscle soreness, so it wasn't terribly unbearble and it was nothing like the fatigue felt with my first four treatments. Fatigue is a total body, energy zapping, right down to the core of your bones lethargy that killed my mood and spirits at times. Body and bone aches aren't exactly pleasant, but I was still able to work nearly every day this past week and have some energy. But I certainly took it easy.
It's been a week since treatment #5 and I feel back to normal. My scarf collection continues to grow thanks to my wonderful friends and family, who all know exactly what colors and prints look great on me. Time to go pick one out and see some of those wonderful friends at a bridal shower!
May 22, 2009
Over the Hill
No, this title does not refer to my age! Today was my fifth chemo treatment, meaning I have three left! I started a new drug today (Taxol) which is fortunately supposed to be easier to tolerate than the first two drugs I was on. My fourth treatment left me with the worst fatigue so far. It kicked in during the end of treatment and it took me a week to get somewhat back to normal. Needless to say, I'm happy to be done with Adriamycin/Cytoxan. Luckily I was well enough to be at Yankee Stadium last Saturday for A-Rod's walk off homerun! It was a wonderful moment for Yankee fans, and A-Rod as well, who needed a heroic hit like that to win fans over again after his steroid scandel. I personally believe he hit it just for me!
I felt like Caroline again during the second week after treatment, and I've noticed that I'm so happy those weeks no matter what's going on. It's my week to not think about cancer, not feel like I'm sick, and enjoy those days of feeling well until the next treatment.
Speaking of my fifth treatment today, I was nervous because while the drug is easier to tolerate, the chance of having an allergic reaction is high so I had to take a heavy dose of precautionary medications to minimize that risk. One of those drugs included an injection of Benadryl, which made me feel like I took ten shots of Grey Goose in less than a minute. First came the goofy smile and giggling, then I made a stupid joke and laughed hysterically at myself, and then I passed out cold for two and a half hours...all in less than two minutes. But I had no reaction and have felt well all day so far. Side effects are most likely to kick in over the next few days so hopefully the rumors about Taxol being easier are true!
Since I was asleep for awhile during treatment, I missed any humorous hijinks that went on around me, although I did get to witness Dad reading the Cliff's Notes version of Macbeth when we arrived to the Infusion Center. Apparently he found a whole bunch of old Cliff's Notes somewhere in his attic (those must have belonged to my brothers and not to me. I would never, wink wink :).
I hope everyone, including me, gets out at some point to enjoy this long Memorial Day weekend! Being able to say that I'm more than halfway done with chemotheraphy is reason enough for me to celebrate with a Bubba Burger and potato salad! Whatever your reasons are, I hope you enjoy.
I felt like Caroline again during the second week after treatment, and I've noticed that I'm so happy those weeks no matter what's going on. It's my week to not think about cancer, not feel like I'm sick, and enjoy those days of feeling well until the next treatment.
Speaking of my fifth treatment today, I was nervous because while the drug is easier to tolerate, the chance of having an allergic reaction is high so I had to take a heavy dose of precautionary medications to minimize that risk. One of those drugs included an injection of Benadryl, which made me feel like I took ten shots of Grey Goose in less than a minute. First came the goofy smile and giggling, then I made a stupid joke and laughed hysterically at myself, and then I passed out cold for two and a half hours...all in less than two minutes. But I had no reaction and have felt well all day so far. Side effects are most likely to kick in over the next few days so hopefully the rumors about Taxol being easier are true!
Since I was asleep for awhile during treatment, I missed any humorous hijinks that went on around me, although I did get to witness Dad reading the Cliff's Notes version of Macbeth when we arrived to the Infusion Center. Apparently he found a whole bunch of old Cliff's Notes somewhere in his attic (those must have belonged to my brothers and not to me. I would never, wink wink :).
I hope everyone, including me, gets out at some point to enjoy this long Memorial Day weekend! Being able to say that I'm more than halfway done with chemotheraphy is reason enough for me to celebrate with a Bubba Burger and potato salad! Whatever your reasons are, I hope you enjoy.
May 16, 2009
A Springtime Drive
Springtime weather has finally made its way to
One of my favorite springtime firsts is driving with the windows down. In the past, I’ve never been able to drive with all four windows entirely down because my hair was always flapping around and getting in my face, even if it were in a ponytail. I’d leave the windows open enough to catch the breeze but not enough to make my hair look like a bird’s nest upon arrival to my destination.
My new (lack of) hair style, however, has allowed me to really feel what it’s like to drive with the windows all the way down. With only the tail of my scarf swirling in the breeze, it makes it easy to really feel the wind as I cruise around. On a particularly daring drive I chose to wear nothing on my head and felt the refreshing, exhilarating sensation of the wind while driving slightly above the speed limit on the Garden State Parkway. As I leaned my head out the window I thought that this must be what dogs feel like when they’re in the car and sticking their heads out the window. Since I was driving I couldn’t exactly stick my whole head out the window, but now I completely understand why dogs love doing it so much. What a rush!
I’ve made a promise to myself now. Every spring for the rest of my life, no matter how long or short my hair is, I will drive with the windows down, stick my head slightly out the window, and not care if my hair looks like a bird’s nest upon arrival to my destination. I’ll just be happy that it’s back and causing me all the trouble it used to!
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